Oscars, Red Carpet Phobias & More

Christopher Turner

Christopher Turner

Guys, it's Oscar Day 2016 and, to wrap up our series on what it's like to cover pop culture/celebrity/red carpet fashion as a career choice, we have none other than my former partner in crime - Christopher Turner (@Turnstylin). Christopher and I go way back. We used to pen a Style Winners & Losers column together and even appeared on a TV show.  And NOW well ... we still spend a lot of time talking about celebrities and their clothes.

And look! Here's an old, promotional photo we had taken for our column. 

Anyway, having Christopher help me toast the 2016 Oscars seems like the best idea in the world. So here are his thoughts. You can read previous red carpet and celebrity amusing musings from Norman WilnerJen McDonnell and Kevin Naulls

The Super Professional Capacity in Which You Cover Awards Shows?

 I’ve been super professionally covering the red carpet since I got my first magazine job after University. I started covering the Oscars back when I worked at Toronto Life, and then went on to cover every imaginable award show and red carpet for MSN, Sympatico, Disney and now Complex and AmongMen.

 How Long Have You Been Covering Awards Shows?

 Honestly? Longer than I’d like to admit.

 If you were a celebrity walking the red carpet, what would be your biggest fear?

 My biggest fear? Mispronouncing the name of the designer I’m wearing. It’s also my biggest pet peeve when watching the red carpet. I mean… If you’re a celeb working your way down the red carpet isn’t it kinda your job to be able to pronounce the name of the free ensemble you’re wearing? If you can memorize your lines and do a good enough job to somehow get yourself to this fancy event wearing a piece of couture most people can’t afford… You can take a few minutes to listen to your stylist and figure out how to pronounce Margiela. (For the record: mar-GEL-a)

 If you were attending an awards show, who would be your dream host?

 Anyone but LL Cool J. I like the guy. But, he’s got to be the worst host on the planet!  The dude has hosted the Grammy Awards for four consecutive years. Four painful years. Who is hiring him!

 This year, we’re seeing a lot of awards show controversy at the Oscars, with #OscarsSoWhite – what impact do you think it will have on the live broadcast and red carpet conversation?

 I think, and hope that there are going to be some uncomfortable moments. Chris Rock is hosting and we all know that he’s super opinionated. Through the last few weeks he’s stayed relatively silent and he’s took some flak for his silence. But, I don’t see it as a sign that he doesn’t support proper recognition and diversity in film. I think it’s pretty safe to say he’s saving some biting commentary for the big night. Fingers crossed.

 What/Who do you think won the least deserved award (Golden Globes, SAG, Grammys, Oscars) in the history of awards shows? (I.E. who was robbed?)

 That’s a hard one. I mean I could sit here all day and babble non-stop about stolen awards. But, let’s narrow it down to the Oscars. When you look back there are some pretty incredible films that were flat out snubbed. Some of the most glaring examples? Citizen Kane, Pulp Fiction, Brokeback Mountain. These are all films that should have taken home the Best Picture honour. However, my pick for the biggest Oscar snub? I still shake my head when I remember that Ellen Burstyn didn’t win for her gut-wrenching performance in Darren Aronofsky’s Requiem for a Dream in 2000. It stings a little bit more when you remember that she lost to Julia Roberts for her role in Erin Brockovich.

 What’s the one awards show moment you’ll never forget?

 Seriously? I can’t pick just one moment… so I’ll rhyme off a few faves: Jennifer Lopez’s barely-there Versace dress at the 2000 Grammys. When a tuxedo-clad Madonna infamously kissed Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera (yes she was there) at the 2003 VMA’s and the world erupted. Oh yeah… there was the year that Bjork showed up at the Oscars wearing that obscure swan dress. I’m sure you’ve never heard of that one.

Why do people care about what other people wear on the red carpet?

It’s an escape. A fantasy.  And, why wouldn’t you want to see beautiful people wearing beautiful clothes.

Do you care what people wear on the red carpet? 

Yes. I’m not ashamed to admit it. I think I can say with certainty that I’ve cared about the red carpet since the moment I tuned into my first awards show and watched Joan Rivers ask “Who are you wearing?”

Who would you want to talk to at an after party? Why?

Isn’t the first rule of the after party: You do not talk about the after party?

Who do you think is more likely to win an EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony)?

  • Justin Bieber
  •  Anna Kendrick
  • Terrance Howard
  • Kanye West
  • Leonardo DiCaprio
  • Drake
  • Other (of your choosing)

There are so many faves that are sooo close to rounding out their award collection. Cynthia Nixon needs an Oscar. Elton John needs an Emmy. Jeremy Irons and Al Pacino need Grammys. Martin Scorsese, Julie Andrews, Kate Winslet and Cher all need a Tony. Wait. Someone give Cher a Tony award for God sake so we can see her stomp down the red carpet in one more over-the-top Bob Mackie creation! You know she would do it up just for the hell of it. 

Realistically? I have a terrible feeling Lady Gaga’s going to do it and we’ll have to sit through yet another speech about how grateful/deserving/phenomenal she is. I’m already rolling my eyes.