From the Messed Up Journals of Ellen Elizabeth Williams

It’s Day 17 of my White House Internship. I’m writing it all down because I always have. I wrote about junior prom and real prom and my Dairy Queen Brazier Burger mishap and why I thought it was a good idea to wear those neon pink elastics with my clear braces (it wasn’t). I told you about frosh week and throwing up on my new shoes in front of the hot campus police (well I thought he was hot originally and then I realized he’s part of the Lord of the Rings re-enactment group. So … no).