To The People Who Are Super Mean On Twitter

Are you sad? Were you bruised emotionally by something outside of anyone's control? And so you release the pain with short spews of hate?

Are you a frustrated, wannabe ruler who dreams of making laws and decisions? And so you decide to sit and pass judgement on everyone and everything else because nobody would elect you, not even ever?

Are you really, really bored? And so you just kind of sit there, looking around at Twitter, until you find something that you find vaguely annoying? And then you really, really blow it out of proportion?

In my head, this is what you're like in person:

Some people do things. Instead of sitting and tweeting their frustration they try to actually do stuff to positively address the thing that irritated them in the first place. They volunteer, they try, they think, they share, they do something mildly positive and you ... snark?

Snark is so out of fashion that The Spice Girls would be like "oh Snark, sorry you're so out of touch, we'll lend you these platform boots and a mini dress to help you out". Yep Snark is so outdated 1997-era Spice Girls are more in-the-know. (I'm not even referring to modern-day style queen Posh, but, like, real, old-fashioned Spice.)

I feel like there should be some sort of Breathalizer-like Twitter tool. Like, you have to run your Tweet through a scanner and if it's too lame, NO DICE and instead of letting you Tweet, Twitter dynamically assigns you to a volunteer activity that you need to complete before you're allowed to Tweet again.

Listen, I love all the social medias. I waste a TON of time on them. But I also ... you know ... try. Lots of times my tries stink and nothing happens. But whatever, I can still collect my Participation Award, right?

And if people - at first glance - seem to be doing something I think is dumb, I try to stop and think BEFORE I UNLEASH meanness. 

I mean, I'm generally irritated by niceness and even I'm like "Whoa, guys, maybe try being nice on here, mmmkay?".