Vampires & Britney Aren't for You (and that's ok)

Not everything is for you.

And just because it’s not, doesn’t make it bad or silly or worse than the thing you like

Like, if you don’t like vampires, get over it. Don’t watch VD (Vampire Diaries! Not an out-of-date way of saying STI) … well certainly don’t watch it now because it’s kind of terrible. 

Listen Up, The Power of Podcasts

When I was young, in pre-reading years, I spent hours sitting in a big, plush rocker, following along with the colourful pages that came slipped into my record albums, as I listened to stories-on-record.

Yes, this was a time before books-on-tape and eons ahead of audiobooks.

I like to listen. (I like to interrupt too and talk and make my own noise. I’m not some sort of peaceful receiver of all the noise in the world or a bottomless listening pit.)

From the Messed Up Journals of Ellen Elizabeth Williams

It’s Day 17 of my White House Internship. I’m writing it all down because I always have. I wrote about junior prom and real prom and my Dairy Queen Brazier Burger mishap and why I thought it was a good idea to wear those neon pink elastics with my clear braces (it wasn’t). I told you about frosh week and throwing up on my new shoes in front of the hot campus police (well I thought he was hot originally and then I realized he’s part of the Lord of the Rings re-enactment group. So … no).

Princess of the Internet’s Favourite Alternative Facts

Fact: I have barbeques with George Clooney, Brad Pitt and Matthew McConaughey every Thursday evening in July and August. Period. We rotate hosting duties. My favourite host is probably George for the ample tequila, although I do enjoy Matthew’s homemade BBQ sauce. Brad is always a bit serious and his food is a little too on the healthy side. But we still let him participate, we just talk about him behind his back.

The Best Parenting Tips From The Childless

So, you're having a baby. Congratulations! You're apparently about to enter into one of the most rewarding experiences anyone will ever have, according to people on Facebook who have kids. There are lots of parenting advice manuals out there, so why listen to this one? Well, a friend recently said to me: "Yeah, well why don't you write a parenting book AHAHAHAHAHAHAH" and I'm pretty sure he was not kidding. So, as a special gift to him, I've crafted this very sound advice.

Things to Think About on Thursday

Taylor Swift, Kanye West, LQTM, my dog, the meaning of life, advertising trends AND MORE are all featured in the first edition of Things to Think About On Thursday - a new Princess of the Internet Feature. I'm sure you're very excited about it. You should probably start reading it now. Right now. Get going. It'll only take you a second.

Times I Have Embarrassed Myself

Recently, whilst washing my dog, I paused to absorb just how ashamed he looked at finding himself immersed in suds. (Then I took a picture, obvs.) His embarrassment (and probably the water) stripped him down to his most basic self. I like to think that day he discovered new inner strength, once his remarkable fluff and exclaim-worthy cuteness was reduced to nothing more than the smell of wet dog. He had no exterior shell to protect him. He had to face reality. It is good to be embarrassed, to know you are a mistake-making machine.